19 days of pain

this is about days when my girlfriend break up with me before she come back again,..
started on oct. 16,2009 i received a break up letter and it hurts a lot,..when i received that letter i at first i tot that it was a happy letter,..a letter that say how much she loves me,..but its not,..its a break up letter and it hurts,..if only i could say how much i really love her,..I LOVE YOU BABY,..







oct. 17,2009
I LOVE YOU STEPH,.. sinubukan ko syang kausapen pero tinakbuhan nya lang,..syempre hahabulin ko sya,..pero habang hinahabol ko sya parang nasasaktan ko lang sya lalo,..kaya nung sabe nung kaibigan nya na wag muna ngaun,..i decided na wag nga muna cguro ngaun,..how i wish i could say na MAHAL NA MAHAL KO SYA,..

oct. 18,2009 ang hirap bumangon sa araw na ito,..naubusan ako ng word na sasabihen,..ang gusto ko lang sabihen nung araw na ito ay TEP I LOVE YOU,..PLS MAKINEG KA NAMAN OH,..MAHAL NA MAHLA KITA,..

oct. 19,2009
solid ako nasaktan nung araw na ito,..nagiiwasan lang kame pero deep inside me i really want to talk to her and say how much i love her and beg her not to live me,..outside of me i show that kaya ko pero ang hirap pigilan ng nararamdaman ko deep inside i really want to tell her how much i really love her and ang sakit pigilan nun,..parang sinasaksak ang puso mo ng paulitulit,..ngaun ko lang naramdaman toh,..i don't know if its karma or what pero ang sakit pala maiwan ng babaeng pinili mong mahalin ng buong buhay mo,..IF U JUST KNOW TEP,..I LOVE YOU TEP,..

oct 20,2009
how funny na ang buong holy naikot namen para lang hanapen namen si tep,..for abount 30 min inikot namen ang holy para lang mahanap si tep,..ganun buh un sinsabe nila na wala kang di magagawa basta para sa taong mahal mo,.. nung nahanap naman namen si tep kala ko magagawa nya pa akong balikan nung araw na un,..hinde pala,..lahat ginwa ko nung araw na un,..and ang bigat ng feeling na un magiging result ng paghahanap ko ay ayaw akong balikan ni tep,..well nung sinabe na ayaw nya na akong balikan parang gusto ko magsisigaw at umiyak,..
kahit ganun paren mahal paren kita tep,.. i love you,..

oct 21,2009
well this is the final day of the sem,..hmm i really want to talk to her,..pero di ko kaya,..baka makita ko sya na masaktan lang if kinausap ko pa sya,..so pinasabe ko na lang un gusto kong sabihen dun sa kaibigan nya,.. after nung test namen uminom kame,..sinubukan pa namen silang puntahan sa mcdo at gusto ko sana syang kausapen nung pumunta kame dun ngunit subalit at datapwat agad silang umales,..pero maganda na siguro na di ko siya nakausap nun kase nakainom na ako nun,..nung nakita ko siya gusto kong umiyak dahil akala ko un na un last na makikita ko sya,..ang bigat pala sa feeling nun na kala mo di ka nya iiwan tpos ayun iniwan ka,..at that time i talagan i want to cry na,..huhuhu,..
pagkatapos namen pumunta ng mcdo i think sa alak ko nalang bunuhos ang lungkot ko kaya un di ko nacontroll un sarile ko at npadame ata ang inom ko,..nagwala daw ako sabe nila pero di ko alam un,..at habang nagwawala daw ako paulitulit ko na sinasabe na MAHAL KO SI STEPH,..well di ko alam anong masasabe koh,..pero sa ngaun un lang talaga ang alam ko and PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THE HEART,..MAHAL NA MAHAL KO SI STEPH,..I LOVE YOU STEPH,..

oct. 22,2009
nung umagang yon nkatxt ko si steph and di naging maganda un pagttxt namen,..this is where tep told me na lubayan ko na sya,..and ang saket ng nafeel ko nung sinabe nya sa aken un,..well nasabe ko nalang sa sarile ko nun sige lulubayan na kita pero DI AKO TITIGIL NA MAMAHALIN KA DAHIL ITO LANG ANG ALAM KONG GAWIN NGAUN,..i love you teph is all i can say,..oct. 23,2009
well this is a quiet day,..parang ayaw kong gumalaw ayaw kong magsalita ayaw kong kumaen,..parang gusto ko lang gawen ay titigan ang mukha ni tep ng magdamagan,..3 hours ako nakaharap sa pc namen at picture lang ni tep ang tinitignan ko,..habang tinitignan ko ang picture di ko maintindihan ang feeling ko,..masaya ako pero at the same time nalulungkot ako and this time i start realizing things,..mga bagay na ewan ko kung akin buh male,..ewan,..basta i realize that tep is my strength and she is also my weakness,.. I LOVE STEPH AND THAT'S WHAT I WILL FIGHT FOR,..I WILL LOVE HER NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN,..

oct. 24,2009
i'm sorry dudes but this day is kind a solemn for me,..but i cried for tep in this day but i wont tell where,..naubusan na ako ng salita masasabe nun pero di paren tumigel tumulo ang luha ko,..but I STILL LOVE STEPH,..
oct. 25,2009
this day nagsimba ako,..for the first time of the year 2009 nagcommunion ako,..today i really need the help of God,..dahil di ko kayang bitiwan si steph,..MAHAL KO TALAGA SYA EH,..tinamaan talaga ako sa kanya,..i just want to love her every day of my life kahit masaktan man ako ng paulitulit mamahalin ko parin sya,..that love hurts and i love steph,..kaya kahit anong sakit titiisin ko just to show how much i really love her,..I LOVE YOU STEPH,..sana madineg mo,..

oct. 26,2009
kuhanan na ng grades bukas sana wala bagsak si teph,..ok lang if ako na lang un magkabagsak wag lang sana sya bumagsak,..i hope makita ko sana si steph tom.,..i wish i could talk to her to,.. and have a strength to face and say that i still love her,..TEPH I LOVE YOU,..GOOD LUCK SA ATEN TOMORROW,..

oct 27,2009
uy kuhanan ng grades ngaun,..wish sana di bumagsak si steph sa trigo,..natatakot daw sya na bunagsak dun,..scared daw sya,..nagtataka kayo pano ko nalaman noh,..well secret ko na un,..:)
di bale na ako un magkabagsak wag lang sana sya,..nakausap ko din sya ngaun pero halatang naiilang sya,..well di ko alam if un smile nya nung kausap ko sya ay just a poker smile or a smile dahil kinausdap ko sya,..well i don't know,..pero sana masaya sya dahil nakausap nya ako,..well nung pauwe na sinamahan ko pa sila sa nepo,pero actually sinama ako ni ace,..ace tnx to you,..madakal salamat,..well halatang ilang na ilang sa aken si teph,..but that day i felt a different feeling i felt that teph kind a love me still,..wish ko nung araw na yun ay sana love nya pa ako,..coz i really LOVE HER VERY MUCH,..I LOVE YOU STEPH,..I LOVE YOU,..AND I'M HAPPY THAT DI KA BUMAGSAK SA TRIGO VERY HAPPY,..

oct. 28,2009
ouch,..this day is suppose to be a great day,..pinlano ko na ang lahat for this day,..this day dapat ang second monthsary namen,..i have planned every thing,..for day nagipon ako,..i would like to say sana how special sya sa buhay ko,..dapat sa araw na ito i will show how much she really mean to me,..dapat sa araw na ito i will surprise her,..i was suppose to tell her na sana malampasan namen ang mga test na bibigay sa relationship namen,..pero bumitiw na sya,..she gave up already,..for once she understand deeply pero un na din pala un magiging cause ng brake up namen,..date i wish for that na magawa nya akong intindihen but nung nabigay na un hinihingi ko den dun sya biglang bumitaw,..for the entire day i had watch the movie ONE MORE CHANCE for FOUR TIMES,..di ko alam anong gagawin,..i watch that movie kase sabe nya nun favorite movie nya un,..habang pinapanuod ko un parang paulitulit na sinasaksak ang puso ko,.. ang dapat na monthsary namen na dapat ay magiging one of the most happiest moment in my life ay naging one of the moment that i see my self na takot na takot at solid na malungkot,..i don't know if tama bung kaawaan ang sarile ko pero this day i realize that MAHAL KO NA TALAGA SI STEPH AT HULE NA PARA BUMITIW AKO AT ANG ALAM KO LANG GAWIN NGAUN AY MAHALIN NALANG SYA AT HINTAYIN SYA,..ALL I CAN SAY IS I LOVE YOU STEPH,..

oct. 29,2009
lot of question bother me this day,..one of those is teph minahal mo buh ako?,..dahil ako konte konte nalang ang naitira ko for you lahat i gave it to you,..every time i say i love you it always come from the heart dahil un talaga ang nararamdaman ko for you,..before i don't want to be hurt pero ngaun kahit masaket handa kitang mahalin kahit wag mo akong mahalen payagan mo lang sana ako mahalin ka,..thats love di buh,..to love with out waiting to be love in return,..AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOR ALL OF MY LIFE,..I LOVE YOU,..




oct. 30,2009
i felt bad,..kaya pala di ka na nagreply sa mga text ko mag kausap ka na pala agad sa fone,..it hurts a lot for me,..kahit naman ako gusto kitang tawagan eh,..the question there is will you still pick up the fone?,..parang ano lang yan eh,..nung tinry ko makipagholding hand sayo hinintay ko na someday ikaw naman ang mag try na mkipagholding hand sa aken,..to be honest i was hurt nung inalis mo un kamay ko pero tinagap ko paren,..dahil sabe mo nahihiya ka pero i'm hoping na someday ikaw naman ang humawak sa kamay ko and someday sana ikaw naman un tatawag sa aken,..don't wory i will hold your hand kahit gaano pa kapawis yan and i will answer the fone kahit ang mga mata ko ay pumipikit na,..coz my heart will always be yours and it will beat only for you...para lang sayo at wala ng iba,..I LOVE YOU SANA YOUR HEART COULD HEAR THAT,..

i love you steph di pala ganun kadaling bumitiw and ayaw ko pang bumitiw I WILL LOVE YOU EVEN IF IT HURTS,..I LOVE YOU,..

oct. 31,2009 haay sana someday you may complete my heart once again,..ang puso ko na puno ng sakit sana magawa mo pa mabuo toh,.. maybe your happy while my heart is scourging in pain,..every beats of my heart a torn of your memory torns my heart,..and now tell me how can i forget you,..if a torns of your memory wrapped around my heart,..my heart keeps bleeding but it still beating for you,..I LOVE YOU TEPH,..I LOVE YOU,..
ang buong katawan ko gusto na bumitiw pero ang makulit kong puso ayaw pang sumuko pilit na tumitibok sa tuwing susubukan kong bumitiw,..my life just become much complicated when you live me,..pero kahit na gnun ikaw parin ang pinakamamahal ko,..I LOVE YOU,..





nov.1,2009
wow,..this is funny,..every where ako tumingin parang si teph lang ang nakikita ko,..ano bang meron ka teph,..i never been this way before,..tinamaan na nga ata ako sayo,..paro kahit na masakit,..i rather choose this feelings than to feel engry to you,..

"LOVE WITHOUT PAIN IS NOT LOVE,LOVE HURTS TO BECOME MORE REASONABLE"

now i found the reason why i really love you,..I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT I AM WHEN I'M WITH YOU
I LOVE YOU STEPH,..

nov.2,2009
are tou happy now?,..coz i'm not i'm really missing you so much,..alam mo pumunta kmi sa jenra kanina alam mo ka akyat ko sa 2nd floor ikaw naalala ko,..parang ngflash back nung last na kasama kita na masaya,..na namimile kayo ng mga ipet,..bumili pa nga kayo ng alikansya,..and star pa nga un desing na napile mo nun di buh,..even do na nabored ako ng konte,..looking at you at that time had made me happy,..i enter that shop,..and kapsok ko parang ang bigat bigat ng feeling ko,..parang gusto ko umiyak but i'm trying to control my tears,..pero ang sakit ang di ko magawang controlen,..if you could read this,..TEP I LOVE YOU,..I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU,..

nov.3,2009
naguguluhan ako ngaun,..sabe mo nun follow my heart,..but how could i follow my heart if i think na kapag magkikita tayo,..tayo ay nagiiwasan lang,..hmmm,..i dont know nah,..basta i will follow you,..coz you have my heart and i will follow you,.. and i love you,..

haay matutulog na lang ako ikaw pa tuloy inaalala ko what happen buh,..bkt parang nageemo kah,..di ko maintindihan pero i worry a lot about you,..i think lalo lang ako napapamahal sayo,..I LOVE YOU,..




nov.4,2009
haay naku pilit man kitang iwasan pero bakit mismong oras ay pilit tayong pinaglalapit...gusto ko sana mag pang gabe pero nag'close lahat ng sken na pang hapon,..haay,..balik r-131,..pero siguro gusto lang ng time na bantayin pa kita until the right time,..I LOVE YOU STEPH,..


THAT WAS MAY 19 DAYS OF PAIN,..AND ON THE 20TH DAY MY BABY HAS RETURN,..I HOPE AFTER THOSE 19 DAYS THIS TIME WE COULD MAKE THINGS RIGHT,..COZ I RELLY LOVE STEPH,..MORETHAN ANY MATERIAL THINGS IN THIS WORLD,..IF EVER MABASA NYA TOH,..I HOPE DI SYA MAGALIT,..I HOPE THOSE 19 BAD DAYS WONT HAPPEN AGAIN,..I LOVE YOU BABY,..AND I WILL LOVE YOU HANGA KAYA KO,..